Saturday, November 22, 2014

What Sort of Resolutions Do You Make?

Earlier this week one of my students asked me if I make New Year's Resolutions. I can't believe we are that close to the end of the year, but really we are. In just a few weeks we will kiss 2014 goodbye and 2015 with a slew of good intentions.

In the past I have made the usual type of resolutions- lose weight, save money, get more organized. I always fall short of my goal- about eleven months short and so for a couple of years I didn't bother with making myself promises I knew I would never keep. For 2014 I decided to take a different approach. Instead of declaring I would be a happier person if I lost twenty pounds or finally learned to control the piles of papers and such that have been my trademark my entire life (it doesn't look organized to the lay person, but I know exactly where everything is), I decided to try anew tactic.
My 2014 resolution was to learn to accept and love myself EXACTLY THE WAY I AM.

Yes, I said it- exactly the way I am.

I have spent so many years of my life not liking myself that this seemed even more insurmountable than getting organized. It was the only goal I made for myself and for once I didn't drop it after a couple of weeks. I have made a point of finding positive things about myself to focus on rather than the negative. Sure, I really could stand to drop a few pounds but after forty some odd years, a couple dozen fad diets and an eating disorder I still look the same. Perhaps, genetically, I will not ever be able to achieve that goal of perfection the media says I should. I know there are people out there who cringe when they enter my classroom or my kitchen but hey, it's my classroom and my kitchen, right?

So, I determined that I would treat myself kindly instead of beating myself up constantly. After all, I am a pretty O.K. person. I am married to a good man, we are raising two amazing boys, I have a job I enjoy, I've got great hair and I am merely a week away from being a professionally published author. Things are looking pretty good over here- no reason at all to be unhappy. Why did I spend so much of my life not realizing this?

I am not exactly sure how or when my mindset changed but sometime over the past eleven months, things have changed. When I look in the mirror now I smile instead of scowl. I may not be figure perfect but that doesn't mean I have to hide behind shapeless black clothing all the time. I have branched out into the land of color and I like it over there! Even the new glasses I picked out a couple of weeks ago are more a reflection of the me on the inside rather than the old me I never thought worthy of cute or trendy things. Somewhere along the way I have learned to like myself and appreciate myself and I am happier now than I have ever been because I don't have all that self loathing weighing me down all the time.

As we go enter into the holiday season and you start thinking a lot about others please remember to also take care of yourself.

A friend who writes devotions posted something on FB today about the miracle of God's ability to meet our needs even when we think the odds against us are impossible to overcome. I know we all know this but do we really know it on a daily basis? Part of my self revolution was to learn to let Him handle some of the details. Once I started doing that, my life changed completely. I am now, what many would say, a believer. God does handle the details if you let him.

Have a great weekend all.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Hot Mug Shot Guys...Seriously?

There's a new trend sweeping the mug shots. I just saw an article revering the Hot Mug Shot Guy.


Mug shots,of course, are the photos taken when someone is arrested and booked for a crime. They are pictures of criminals, ladies.

So, why is it that the female population seems to be enamored by these men, often violent criminals and sexual predators?

It bothers me that as a society we are willing to give  criminals notoriety, raving over how hot they look and how sexy they are. I am almost ashamed to admit that I took the time to read some of the comments on a recent article. Women were throwing themselves at the guy in the mug shot, making promises that I would only make to my husband in the privacy of our bedroom. I don't understand the appeal of a guy with a rap sheet a mile long filled with violence. Putting those pictures in the news and on social media give them the sort of notoriety I don't believe they are entitled to.

How have they earned their fame? By breaking the law.

It is not hot to break the law. It is not sexy to hurt others, steal from others or in anyway harm the person or possessions of another.

Ladies of the world, we need to value ourselves a whole lot more than that. We all grew up with fairy tales of Prince Charming and knights in shining armor. Fairy tales give us hope and their is nothing wrong with that but I am the first to admit that the fairy tale sort of falls apart when life kicks in. It is a sad fact that most criminals are recidivists. They commit crimes- often the same type of crimes- over and over and over again. It is not likely that love or sex are going to change a person- male or female- if they have determined they like the path they travel.

 Movies make it look good for the good girl to fall in love with the bad guy. Books are full of happily ever after tales. Humans like happy endings. I write romance novels- I LOVE a happy ending. I love to see the guy get the girl or girl get the guy but I also like to see the bad guy/gal pay the price of their actions or crimes.

The bad guy/ gal should not get a free pass just because they look good in a mug shot. They should not be revered on social media and it is my opnion that stories such as these are not news. They are not human interest stories. It is absolutely unacceptable to turn a criminal into a hero because he or she photographs well.